I knew it wasn't about ME...

...or "Cleaning off my desktop"

About 3 weeks ago I heard the old Carly Simon song You're So Vain on the radio. Yes, I still listen to oldies on broadcast radio.

I remembered that I always liked the song, primarily because of the quirky bass intro and a great guitar solo. I know I'm supposed to enjoy pop songs for the lyrics, but that's how I am: it hits me musically or it doesn't hit me.

I wanted to know the names of the musicians. I Googled and Wikipedia-ed.

The info that came easily through my search was all about how Carly Simon had never revealed who the song was about. Did I care about that? It's a SONG. Why do I need to get caught up in entertainment gossip just because I like a song?

I searched a little past the surface and found the names of the crew:

album "No Secrets"
Produced By Richard Perry
Jim Gordon – drums
Richard Perry – percussion (Cowbell. In precisely the right amount. It DID NOT need any more cowbell. I love cowbell played tastefully in the proper place and the right amount. I like comedy too. Enough cowbell is enough.)
Mick Jagger – backing vocals
Jimmy Ryan – acoustic guitar, electric guitar
Klaus Voormann – bass

The possibly-apocryphal story behind Mick Jagger's rare backing vocal on this song runs thus: Carly Simon is in the studio rehearsing vocals with Harry Nilsson, Mick Jagger walks in and says "Wha choo doin?"--I guess if you're Mick, you can just walk into anyone's studio--Carly says "Hey Harry Nilsson, would you excuse Mick Jagger and me for a few minutes? I have an idea." Harry says "Of course, Carly Simon. I think Mick Jagger would be a MUCH better backing vocalist for this song than I."

So we had ""Yo so vayne, I betchoo thaynk the song is abow choo, don choo?"

Warren Beatty was so vain he thought it was about him.

Here's an easy guitar transcription:

Am (2)

You walked into the party

F Am
Like you were walking onto a yacht

Am (2)
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye

F Am
Your scarf it was apricot

F (½) G (½) C (½) (Am) (½)
You had one eye in the mirror as

F C

you watched yourself gavotte

G (½) F (2)
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner, they'd be your partner, and



Chorus:

C (2)
You're so vain

Dm7 C
You probably think this song is about you

Am
You're so vain (you're so vain)

F G (2)
I'll bet you think this song is about you--Don't you? Don't you?



Am (2)
You had me several years ago

F Am
When I was still quite naive

Am (2)
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair

F Am
And that you would never leave

F (½) G (½) C (½) (Am) (½)
But you gave away the things you loved

F C
And one of them was me

G (½) F (2)
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee, and

Chorus

Instrumental Verse (sing last line):

G (½) F (2)
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee, and


Chorus

Am (2)

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga

F Am
And your horse naturally won

Am (2)
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia

F Am
To see the total eclipse of the sun

F (½) G (½) C (½) (Am) (½)
Well, you're where you should be all the time

F C
And when you're not, you're with
G (½) F (2)

Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend, wife of a close friend, and

Chorus

/ C - - - / - - - - / Dm7 - - - / C - - - /

C (2)
You're so vain

Dm7 C
You probably think this song is about you
C (2)
You're so vain

Dm7 C
You probably think this song is about you



/ C - - - / - - - - / Dm7 - - - / G (hold) /

and a video:




So then--after like 30 years and about a week after I started thinking about it--Carly Simon finally comes out and tells the world that You're So Vain was about David Geffin. As though we really wanted to know.

I've always had the gift of these of precognitions, but only about really trivial things.

The fun thing about pop songs like You're So Vain is making up your own lyrics:

...clowns in my cornflakes...underwear spy...what the heck is a gavotte?...

...or mathematical analysis: if a man has two eyes to start with and one is strategically hat-dipped while the other is in the mirror, he has zero eyes left for seeing Carly Simon as she looks at him and comments on how vain he is.

Now there's one less thing on my desktop.